Five strategies to check in with your partner-before you need too!

Five signs you could benefit from a relationship check in

Are you and your partner in need of a check-in?

Let me explain, a relationship check in is a designated time for you and your partner to touch base on the status of your relationship…respectfully and gently.

Set aside some time where you can talk about what is working and what is not working in your relationship. Gently and respectfully discuss how satisfied you both are in the different areas of your relationship, express gratitude and appreciation, discuss differences  and enjoy talking about your day.

The beauty of a ‘check in’ is that there are many different ways you can do it, as long as how you do it works for you as a couple and benefits your relationship.

Here are five signs you could benefit from one:

Life is hectic and chaotic

Maybe you’re both busy with thriving careers or you’re constantly running in opposite directions taking the kids to various activities, playing sport and catching up with friends. When your schedule is maxed out, fitting in quality couple time can feel like a luxury you don’t have and maybe something that you both neglect to do.

A daily check-in could be your ticket to staying connected in an efficient, yet consistent and respectful way. It could be ten minutes over your coffee in the morning before you officially start the day or a few intentional minutes tacked onto dinner in the evening. Use your time wisely. Try not to focus on daily logistical stuff or planning who is doing what to manage timetables in your household. Instead, make it about each other and your relationship. That might come in the form of a long hug, sharing the highs and lows of your day, or talking about something weighing on your mind lately. Whatever helps you feel connected. Once again make it a gentle and respectful time together-it is not a time to argue over who is going to take out the garbage!

Communication has been tense

Does it feel like you’re speaking different languages lately? You just can’t seem to get on the same page? You’re having frequent conflict and both feeling unheard? A daily check-in can give you the opportunity to get things back on track, share things and talk through situations as they happen. You might each share two things you appreciate about each over the day or week and one thing you need from each other, or something along those lines. Be gentle and be respectful, the idea is to support and nurture each other and your relationship. The key is that you’re both engaged and invested in the process and your relationship.

You’re feeling disconnected

Sometimes you just don’t feel very connected and it might be that you just need a little help prioritizing quality time. Realistically, you might not be able to swing a date night every week. A weekly check-in, however, can seem much more doable. And when you can, turn that check-in into a special time together. Use the time to be intentional and present with each other.

It feels like you’re always snappy and annoyed with each other

Does it seem like you’re constantly irritated with your partner and vice versa? You’re picking at each other and even the most innocent of exchanges has the potential to end in an argument, often it is over the small things in life that don’t even really matter. Chances are one or both of you have an unresolved issue or resentment bubbling beneath the surface. A weekly relationship check-in gives you a safe space to bring those issues to each other so that you can deal with them right away, instead of letting them fester. You might want to set up some agreed upon ground rules, such as letting the other person speak uninterrupted or always ending with something positive about each other. And of course, remember to treat each other with respect and empathy even when you’re expressing dissatisfaction.

 You’re going through a transition or life change

Navigating change as an individual can be hard enough as it is. Going through it alongside a partner or family can make things even more complicated and stressful. Scheduling a relationship check-in when things are in flux is a great way to help you grow together instead of growing apart. You might share about how you’re handling things, what’s going well, what needs adjustment and how you can support each other better. It can give you a sense of security and normalcy when everything else seems to be shifting around you.

Check-ins are a great way to touch base and assess the state of your relationship. While consistency is important, they don’t need to be formal or high effort. Remember gentle and respectful check in are what you are aiming for. You can carry them out in whatever way best suits your needs and those needs will likely change. The main point is to leverage them as a tool to help you address issues, bolster communication and stay connected through all seasons of your life together.

Relationship check in's might be all you need or if you are feeling the pressure of caring for others as part of your professional role and you are noticing some concerns in your relationship, seek help now. Book a coaching session [email protected]

In a coaching session you can be taken through the Prepare Enrich Inventory which is a tool administered by a trained Facilitator to help you work on the strengths in your relationship and enable you to become aware of areas that would benefit from more focus.

Your professional role can be exhausting and personal relationships can be collateral damage when you are becoming emotionally exhausted. Seek help now. [email protected]